2013 has begun and so have the promises we've made to ourselves and each other in exchange for absolution erasing sins of the year prior.
A promise. A peculiar and misunderstood covenant of which I'm not nor ever pretending to be a master or an expert. A promise is an oral contract between two parties. Sometimes the stakes are high and other times as simple as something that may be sealed with a soft kiss. When broken, the chards of glass are just as fragile and tender and don't hurt any less. The most pain inflicted when those promises are made to oneself. When you read what you promised to yourself last year and realize you failed, the words pounce off the page in mockery with the intent to shame and deepen the scars.
Last week I read what I promised myself and when I read it, my initial reaction was, 'I can do that, no problem! 2013 is a GO!' And reality smacked in like an ice bath that the covenant made was from 2012 and it would have been impossible for the person who had it in writing would have secured the ambition for this year.
The doubt crowded around me like a dark fog making it hard to breathe. I failed. I started questioning everything; my relationships, job, where I live; you name it and it was up for emotional auction and the lowest bidder was me. We all do a pretty good job beating ourselves up. In GE's world of differentiation we can talk ourselves into the bottom 10% and begin to rationalize how we can hang on by a single malt thread.
We also have the power to rise above it. So I didn't get to my goal weight by my birthday last year. I also did a million amazing things and I know without a doubt I made a difference in some people's lives. And I don't regret a single minute or a single M&M cupcake for that matter. I wondered if NYC was for me. Well I'm not finished because I have just buckled into the starting blocks.
Al Roker writes in his book that he had the gastric bypass surgery and had a 40 pound relapse. He got on the horse and rode the stallion of life with vigor vowing he will succeed. He will occasionally treat himself but uses the scale everyday to measure his success and to map out his strategy for the day. This can work in all facets of daily life and I'm embracing it.
There is no need to work as much, just a desire to work smarter and eliminate the easy time wasters - regardless of who or what they are - so we may enjoy our pleasures, budgeting time and resources from the driver's seat as it should be.
Last night I watched the firework display in Central Park and when the finale exploded into the sky with a powerful vibrancy in color, sound and excitement I watched in awe with the wonder of a child's eyes and thought, 'only in NY'. And I'm fired up!
It's ok to face your fears, where you failed. Do it. Get it out of your system. And stop kicking your ass.
Grab the wheel, hop into the driver's seat and steam into this year with gusto, passion and no regrets. Water boils at 212 degrees. Do what it takes to get that one extra degree for yourself, you deserve it!
