I was able to spend a lot of time with my oldest son, Shane who is 17. We sat in the living room on Saturday night with no tv, no facebook, no texting, no music - just us - talking.
He told me about his friend Nivela. I am not sure if they are 'dating' but she has been a great influence on him.
We talked about his job where he works as a telemarketer and does well. He has quite a sense of humor and is driven by his work ethic to never be late, do well and earn based on his calls. He picked up and kept a Southern accent from his 5 years in Louisiana which must add a little bonus that his fellow Bostonians may not over the phone.
He told me some of his techniques; winning techniques that give him the edge over his colleagues. He seems to be tapped on the shoulder to raise money for the blind. He goes into this raspy Southern drawl explaining to the woman on the phone, 'I know mam what its like to foreclose mam, we survived Katrina but when we came home our house was 2 streets down from where it was. Now come here with me. Close your eyes. Imagine your life this way. Everyday. Can you help us out with $150? No? I know. It is hard. The sound the walk and do not walk signals are there because of us. We have done so much and feel like we can do so much more with a little of your help. I am sure you can find $75 in your heart. Yes, we have put the Braille on ATM's and feel like it is not enough. $50 is so generous if you can. We can add training programs to assistance dogs and for every blind person who can cross the street and buy a quart of milk by themselves can do it because of you - you can change a life by adding purpose with your $25 donation."
He revealed the secrets of his business with how his boss rallies them, "They have two kids; Now you have two kids. They lost their home; You've lost your home. Their parents are ill; your parents are ill. Now go!"
The point is he was so proud of being able to make a living and a difference. He told me that for the past 15 checks he has taken $100 from each and saved it and the rest was for fun money. He also saved a portion of his summer lawn mowing money and has about $1,800 stashed away. Of course it is hidden in varying locations in the house. Which preempted our conversation on banking. He has no account so his mother and I cash his checks from him in our accounts. I blew his mother's cover because she takes a week to get him the money back waiting for it to 'clear' and I am able to deposit and give him the cash right away. I told him it was because she has Bank of America and I have Citibank. The truth is I pay in federal taxes what she makes for a far more important line of work. She works as a para professional with Autistic children. How athletes and actors are paid millions and although their entertainment value and talent should not go unrecognized, the work of educators is exponentially underpaid.
He also pulled out his W2 wondering what that was all about which came the entire state and federal tax conversation as well as the social security issue. He wondered why some of his work dialogue danced around the blasphemous privatitation of the social security system. As a parent, you are expected to possess mounds of infinite wisdom and you look up with a win when you can answer that means government forfeits control of social security and it will be managed otherwise. Good or bad, I knew the answer.
Since I took the train, we had no car to go to the atm and cash his check so we bundled up and took the bus together to Harvard Square and had a great time together. Another opportunity for the smoking conversation and that he had to stop. He is healthy, young and full of life and all that money he has stashed around the house could be even more with that pricy, dirty, unhealthy and very uncool habit. I am not going to pretend to be father of the year and know I have made far too many parenting mistakes, but how many fathers know where their sons like to sit on the bus? So there we were. Second seat from the back. On the way to Harvard Square.
We first went to 7 eleven to deposit and cash his check. He wanted one of those extra large hot dogs rolling on the stainless heaters and since we could not deposit at this atm, we cut through Urban Outfitters to get to the Citibank across the Square. I love that store and I know there are many things of which I am far to old to buy, I just love to look and he enjoyed the rique books, etc. After the 'drop' we went back to 7 eleven and he bought his hot dog and slathered it with melted cheese and hot peppers and miraculously did not waste any of it. Again, he obliged while I went into the international news stand while he stood outside enjoying his snack. Afterwards we boarded the bus and headed home. We talked about getting his learners permit, his driver's liscence and a car he saw that he wanted to buy. He told me he wanted to see his little hershey kiss. That would be Nivela. And so he did when we went home and I asked him to not be late and text if he planned on staying over. He came home at a reasonable hour.
We didn't go on any roller coasters, we didn't solve world hunger or find a cure for cancer but we did have one of the best nights we have ever had. Just me and Shane and great conversation. A night I will cherish and look forward to the next.
