Happy 51st

Date: November 17, 2012, 9:39:05

Today would have been Shane's 51st birthday.
For his thirtieth, his Mother Ellie had the best, most creative and meaningful gift idea. She put together a huge basket of thirty small presents, each representing every year of his life. My part - I had to take two cobalt blue water glasses (permanently on loan, like the sterling silver teapot from London) from the hotel.
A lesson I learned from Shane, among many; was about significant others. We sat in The Adam Room when he told me he was HIV positive and that when his time was nearing to part ways, he was going to go far away so we may remember him as he was and not a withering version of himself. He chose to do this with his partner, Jack. He and Jack had the same issues any couple would have and Jack was a little over protective and, well, not exactly everyone's favorite in Shane's circle. But I chose to respect Shane's decision and I can look back without regret. His last night in Boston, his last night ever in Boston, he and Jack stayed with me, Tara and Shane (the baby in this photo). It's indescribable the overwhelming emotion that I felt saying goodbye to him. He never seemed 'sick' to me and the reality hit like a stinging brick when I gave him that last hug.
One of his other birthdays I bought him a long sleeved red polo shirt from Abercrombie. This is back when they were a little more sophisticated and sold books, beautiful picnic baskets with fine china and pure wool blankets, dress shirts and ties and cologne (favorite was 'woods'). So I called him just before we were leaving to celebrate his birthday and in conversation asked how he felt about red. Of course he told me he liked the color and hated red clothing, but in a sports car it's hot. It was too late to exchange the gift that already been fastidiously wrapped at the store and signed card woven in to the presentation and there was the 'oh sh..' moment.
He opens it, taking his time through the process enjoying each tug of the ribbon and careful part of disassembling the paper, as he did with every facet of his life. Holds up this red shirt, looks at me with a wink and announced red is his new favorite color. He wore it at least once a week and my son Shane wore it for a time when it fit and it's still in the family.
The other photo was from an annual employee banquet where the five star of the year team was announced. Of the five winners, I was one of them. Later, Tara's parents said they would have paid for us to go on the trip if I didn't win so they could watch their grandson Shane and big Shane was in charge of the arrangements.
I only knew Shane for a few years when he stepped into our lives and he forever changed how I saw the world. To this day, the silver guardian angel on his baseball cap reminds me of the foreshadowing of him being that for me today. Without pause...